cheaters losers.

I saw it. Again..and I can't even imagine how and why they do it.

A group of my classmates cheated in our pathology quiz awhile ago, and it disturbed me. Today's revelation was actually the third incident where I saw my classmates cheat during a quiz. Yes, a quiz. Pathetic, isn't it? And it's disturbing because in those three incidents, the people involved were not the same. 

I, myself is not that good. Yes, I do fail my quizzes ( a lot of times pa nga ) but that's okay..'cos for me, that's what I deserve. So tama lang to fail because I didn't study hard enough. I just try harder to make up for those failures with our major exams. But them. They whispered answers to each other while having the quiz and as if they weren't contented with that, they even opened their notes! Grabe. How I wished our proctor heard/saw them. Cheating is somewhat reasonable in elementary, for values formation is just progressing at that point but in post grad studies? I can't believe that these people are actually taking medicine.

Yes. I know that in our situation, every point counts but I also believe that every point should be worked hard for. If they can cheat in small things, what more with bigger things diba? 

Even if they managed to pass our course, with what they're doing, I doubt if they'll pass the boards. Maybe I'm just disappointed with them that's why I'm getting cocky here. I know these people, and they surprised me. I don't want to label them but I can't forget what they did either. As medical students, I think it's just fitting that we, while in our training as doctors be honest with ourselves and get true with our capacities right now.

Doctors handle lives, and we can't save lives through kodigos. 

Realize that, I HOPE for them.

I'm sorry.

At some part of our seemingly perfect, joyful lives we'll come to a point that all things suddenly change and the things, persons whom we hold on to dearly become foreign, instant strangers. It is the point where the dreams and desires we previously hope for vanishes, leaving no trail but of sad memories. Suddenly, we have to make decisions out of urgency, from the mind and not the heart. But this is not about rational thinking. It was a decision I had to make having weighed out the pros and cons of the matter for the sake of survival. I don't want to keep on suffering anymore. I can't keep holding on to something I am not so sure now, if had ever existed. "I'll try to reflect and see if we can still work it out or if we'll just keep on hurting each other.." was the only statement I could say after hours of painful argument. He failed me. His contradicting explanations didn't help at all.  

Last night, I crossed a line that I know well. I have crossed a same line before, and after stepping into it there's no turning back..I didn't turn back. Trust, once broken, can never be put again. It was a point of no return, as the song says..and I know it would never be the same. 

I'm sorry.
Sorry that it didn't turn out as expected,
Sorry that it will never be as expected.

I've already decided. So help me God.