the price i need to pay.

i do not know whether i'll be morose or if i'll just laugh at my foolishness. i can't negotiate with my emotions..but i decided to settle on remorse.

it's the second time that i missed an anatomy quiz. yes, ANA. the subject that has the majority of our grade's weight---39%. fail this and one is surely 99.9% close to repeating first year. the nastiest thing is, if one will not be able to reconcile another subject aside from it (as in any, though it has only 1% bearing) he/she should be ready to bid De La Salle-HSI goodbye.

the reason why i failed to take the quizzes: tardiness. yes. the most gibberish reason a student can put forward (especially if you are already in graduate school).

reason of negligence: i gave in to my morning weakness. again. i didn't wake up on time..hence, late attendance. since i entered med school, i don't usually go to school behind schedule since (unlike college, hehe) and for incidences i cannot fathom, i happened to be late on the two days where the doctors delegated a "surprise quiz". a dire twist of fate. grim.

the consequences of my ill-fate: for the first missed quiz, reporting on CNS embryology [clinical correlations on spinal cord] which is due three days ahead with no assurance if it will be credited as 75% quiz grade. for the second one, 0% quiz grade with no expressed intentions from the professors whatsoever for a chance of compensation. helpless misery.

what i even don't want to think of but must accept and expect: a great downward pull on my grades..and on the given 5% attitude. ouch.

a pledge i have to keep from now on: wake up early and be on time. by all means, i should be in the room at least 10 minutes before class time. that's the goal.

help me God. please do.   

verse of the day: Sleep a little. Doze a little. Fold your hands and twiddle your thumbs. Suddenly poverty hits you and everything is gone! -Proverbs 24:33-34

pre-christmas sadness.

two days before christmas, and i'm .

..i lost my phone, for the third time. wah.

i'm so careless, i want to blame myself but i know it wouldn't do any good.

it would still be lost.  

i didn't cry (i didn't also when i lost the previous two. i'm just a lil bit shocked.) 

..and like my past cel misfortunes, i do not know how and where i lost it. (this makes the loss tormenting, actually.)

we tried to contact it several times, but alas, it just kept on ringing..

we searched the probable places where i might have dropped it, (according to my poor memory, i put it on my jeans' back pocket) but there was no trace.

it could have been easier to accept that i wouldn't retrieve it anymore, if i didn't lost it at church..but i did.

hay. it would be a not so merry christmas indeed...

chair twist.

hours ago, i was so excited for our cadaver session to end...because of yoga! haha.

it's been a long time after our last session..and even though traeni and i made a vow to make it a routine every after evals, we realized that it's not that convenient for us. anyway, whenever we had a chance, we grab it, like kanina! (though we still have a long biochem quiz tomorrow and another long anatomy quiz on friday) hehehe..

it's a little bit lonely, there were only three of us...(plus our instructor, doc simbulan). nevertheless, it's a pro...personally, i can relax better and be more comfortable if we are just few. it's been a tough week for us due to the major exams and it's really a great opportunity to loosen up all the tightness that we have, physically and mentally.  

we expected the usual viñasas (yoga routine) like what we did in our past two sessions but to our surprise, tonight's session was chair yoga! it was my first time to observe how it is done...and i find it incredibly simple (kids can do it, i promise).  dr. taught us a lot of easy and practical asanas (postures) that we can do even if we are inside the classroom (there are several that is just fitting to be done at home, of course). some of my muscles including my hamstrings, biceps brachii and trapezius ached since some moves are extremely twisty and i'm not used to stretching..maybe my muscle fibers atrophied already coz i'm too lethargic to exercise. haha.   

my favorites for this night's session are chest, heart-knot asanas and neck rotation. paramaiana (relaxed breathing) while sitting in gissuts (not sure if i remembered it right) position is notably calming.

after the two-hour recreation, we bid each other namaste! (may the best in me, be the best in you).

2012 or new moon?

no. this is not a film review and i do not consider myself as a film critic (though i do make a lot of oral disapprovals on some movies specifically those of happy madison's production). 

i was so glad that last weekend, at last, i had the chance to go malling again. finding an opportunity to spend and enjoy life 'in the outside world' is hard since i entered med school...even the weekends are loaded with school works. i'm just so happy that though seldom, precious breaks happen on weekdays (thank you manong bonifacio for making, or for being a reason rather, of a holiday. )

and so i spent sunday with my favorite person in the world..Ian David. since we already had our weekly church ritual on saturday night, we had the whole day spent at moa..and its surprisingly, unusually overcrowded that day (maybe a significant event was scheduled there perhaps?) when it was time to decide what to watch, we were torn between 2012 and new moon. Ian and i watched twilight together and though i'm not so gaga about it, i find it good and interesting..but, i'm a fan of "end of the world" movies because it's breath-holding and scary. haha. the tickets were running out and i was still indecisive. Ian suggested to watch  both, 2012 first then new moon. i agreed. 

though we barely had good seats inside the cinema for it is jam-packed already (both premiere and de luxe) ten minutes before the showing time, we enjoyed 2012 a lot. it even made me cry! (iyakin talaga. haha) like i am legend and titanic, it's cruelly melancholic..but like armageddon, hope spring at the end. i was excited for new moon but unfortunately, i remembered that i have a looooong transcription to do which is due the next day. boo. and so the sensational new moon was postponed until next weekend (which i doubt, there's biochem evals).  even though that happened, i didn't regret watching 2012 first. well, new moon can wait naman..i just hope there would be another favorable break before new moon signs off the cinemas.  

trick or treat experience.

last night, after church, i went to my tita's place and decided to sleep there. immediately after i stepped inside the unit, one of my excited young cousins, (king) hurriedly came to me and he was so eager to tell me something, he jumbled out the words and i didn't understand the first sentence that he said. after cheerfully dragging him to the sala, my other cousin, queenie also came to me and they were both so hyped i felt lost and was left staring at them while smiling.

glad that lola came to my rescue, and she explained to me what the fuzz is all about-- that is, the recent halloween party that they just attended the same day (actually just an hour ago by that time). with much joy and enthusiasm, they related lots of stories..stories about the setting, food, candies, and other freebies..but what they were actually rejoicing about is that princess, the oldest of my young cousins won first place in the costume contest. though i am not in favor of celebrating halloween (i didn't even know why they celebrate it in the first place, and why parents tolerate their kids to wear 'evil' stuff ) i was happy to hear the news and was proud of my cousin's bloody victory. after that, they went to play and go on trick or treating with the neighbors on the different floors (they live in a condo) and the neighbors generously gave them treats. queenie even received not just candies, but a pack of dried mangoes! the kids surely had fun with their first ever creepy party.

hours ago, i accompanied ate jonna outside when she was asked to do some errand and to buy at 7 eleven and mercury. while we're on our way to the first store, two street kids started to follow us. i immediately noticed the black tints on their faces (which seemed like charcoal) and strokes of red lipstick which served as blood effects. with used kfc buckets on hand, they begged us for a trick or treat treat. because there were other streetkids that are also roaming around, i kindly rejected them with a smile. while i did this, i realized how many candies and freebies were there back at home...how well-prepared the halloween party my cousins attended to last night and how my cousins and their friends, even on their dracula, hunchback, monster, white and black ladies' costume and make-up look 'descent' than the two kids. the kids keep on insisting after i said "no" and so i asked them to wait until we finished buying at mercury. they eagerly said yes.

while inside the store, i keep on thinking what to give them..their desired coins (which they repeatedly say "kahit piso lang") or food. after buying my mother's usual medicines, we stepped outside the store and asked us again. i asked them to wait again after we buy at 7 eleven which is just a few steps from there (i preferred food, and i didn't find anything good to give them at mercury). they seemed to be disappointed but patient as they were, they agreed.

while ate jonna went to find margarine, i hurried to the food shelves. i want to give them something (this is, after all, not often) but there is not much to choose from there..just biscuits and junkfoods. though it isn't appealing to the eyes, biscuits are much more pleasant to the stomach than junk foods. finally, as we stepped outside the second store, i put in each of their buckets (which contain just a few coins and pieces of candies) a big knick knacks chocolate (i personally don't like chocolates that much, but kids always does! and i like knick knacks). they were so grateful that they immediately called on to their friends to boast about their new treat. i was happy also but i told ate jonna that we should start walking, and walk fast for the other children might start to ask for their own treats.

i find it amusing that my cousins and the two kids, though contrasted with status qous, were just similar in their hearts, all of them find enjoyment in trick or treating. this reminded me that happiness is for ALL...and because i can't find the essence of the halloween event, i might as well give it a meaning to myself, a chance to make some kids happy (even if it's not dried mangoes) in my own little way..and make it worthwhile for them, even for a short while. it is ALWAYS fun giving to people you don't know, even it's not christmas nor new year..pwede din sa halloween. 

random med school pictures

1st year

people's park in the sky

after arriba fest '08 with some of my dearest letran friends..sayang hindi lahat sumama but it was sure fun.^.^ superrr cold sa tagaytay that night and open-air pa kami...as in open. haha. super galante ni kuya jek the day after..sa uulitin!;p

sorry now lang na-upload...just got this yesterday from kuya jek's phone.^.^